Realms Beyond: Book 3: Change by Ben McFadden

Author:Ben McFadden [Ben McFadden]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Feedbooks (http://www.feedbooks.com)
Published: 2010-01-10T11:32:14+00:00

Chapter 14

Close Call

Gern moved through the dark, silent streets a little beyond the solemn chaos of the courtyards where the battle plans and preparations were taking place. He was very ill at ease, and for reasons well beyond the anxiety of the coming conflict. He needed time away from the noise and the light, time to think and reflect.

He felt so angry with Theana and he was not completely sure why. It was supposedly due to her cynicism regarding the Defenders’ chances against the Cha, but how could he be so mad at her for that when his dismay mirrored hers, deep inside? Was it just his adamant refusal to believe that they could not win that had driven him to respond so vehemently to her? Or did it have something to do with the storm of feelings about her that continued to rage within him?

He loved Mir-Ven, he truly did. She was such a good friend and companion, and she was so loyal and devoted. She was beautiful and alluring and his imagination took him to unspeakable places when he thought of what they might share together in the future.

But she was so young. She was…there was just something that wasn’t there. His father had always spoken of the necessary “spark” for love to exist; Gern thought there was “spark” with Mir-Ven. There was a pleasant tingle, an excitement, definitely. But that did not seem to be what was needed, what he sought. He felt that there should be something more enduring, something more solid.

“What am I talking about?” he said to himself in the darkness, grabbing his head with both hands in frustration as he walked. “We’re just kids!”

It wasn’t as if his future was upon him and it was time for him to decide. But he did feel that he was not ultimately devoted to Mir-Ven for the long haul, and he did not want to lead her on.

And of course Theana had a great deal to do with it.

It was foolish. He had been over it all in his mind more than once. Despite his more mature appearance, he was way too young for her. She did not think of him like that. But he could not let go of the hope. Especially now that he sensed that she had come to a decision about Shul, that she had decided not to be with him. He could not help thinking that it opened the way, somehow, for her to have feelings for him.

Sighing, he stopped at a stairway and sat on one of the steps, placing his chin in his hands. Why did he torture himself? Why didn’t he just settle in with Mir-Ven, or at least just let go of Theana? He could not forget, of course, his odd aging condition. That could forego any kind of normal relationship with anyone! Perhaps it would be best for him to resign himself to being alone…

He felt a sensation that put him in mind of a warm whisper against his ear, but it passed all across his body.

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